Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
