who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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