I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
