It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
