hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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