people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize