Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
