do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
