if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
