Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
