I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
