somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
