I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
