I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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