apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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