If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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