Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
