They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
