the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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