when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
