you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
