Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
