well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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