Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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