You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
