do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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