So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
