There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
