I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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