i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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