oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
