Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
