I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
