I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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