I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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