How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
