yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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