i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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