White coat. Heels.
Your dad touched me again.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
