Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
