And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sobbing to NWA
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
