I need help removing her.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
