At least make sure they are 18
Why
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
