he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
