Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
