i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
not ubering you a puppy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
