Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
