just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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