Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
