So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Found your dick twin last night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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