How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
