how do flat chested girls get laid?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
