I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
