What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
