we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
