Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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