i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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