Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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