with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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