I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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