Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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