I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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