Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
